So, the senior BFA Acting class is having a fundraiser show this Th through Sun. It's a variety show, and originally I was just helping out this one girl do a dreary version of the Vitametavegimin skit from I Love Lucy. I have, like, three lines... I'm just helpin' this girl out. Well, one of the acts lost all her singin' partners, so I said I'd sing with her. We were going to sing "The Next 10 Minutes" from The Last 5 Years... but the pianist said he couldn't learn it in 3 days... understandable. So instead, we got another guy and girl and we're going to do "The New World" from Songs for the New World. Seriously... I couldn't be more excited. I'm singing the Baritone part... perfectly in my range and I get to show off a bit... the song is BEAUTIFUL!!!! And, not to brag or anything, but all four of us are kick ass singers! We sound fantastic on the parts we're getting down. The crazy ending, harmonies, and all that we still have to work on, but for just getting the song today, we fuckin' rock :D I'm so excited. And I'm especially excited to BE SINGING AGAIN!!! Shit, I haven't sung for a paying audience in ages! Almost three years... The Wizard of Oz was the last one and that was... meh. Fun show, but as for really singing, not so much. So I'm super pumped. We're working on it again tomorrow... I just... I can't get enough of it. JRB, man, master at what he does! So, people should come if they can. It's $5 at the door... we're the opening act, kickin' it off with a bang, and then I don't know when my dreadful little scene is going, but it should be fun to watch, haha. So yeah, come if you can... I'll mention it on Facebook too... I'd love to see your lovely faces. Th-Sat @ 7:30pm and Sun @ 2pm... but don't quote me on the Sunday show. Th-Sat for sure... Sun TBD. :)

HAPPY 311 DAY!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!! And... what's that? What's that I hear? It's also the SEASON PREMIER OF SOUTH PARK? YYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY *sobs* "I'm soooo ha-ha-appy!!!!" Live and rock people... enjoy! :)

But my internet was frozen... literally. Freakin' weather is messing with my internet and it is no no no good! But it is all good now, I think, I'm at home now but it seemed to be working ok this morning. Anyway... the intent of this post was just to say... I miss her, haha. It's been a long time since I've felt like this... over a year... well over a year. Having gone so long without being in a happy relationship or really having serious feeling for anyone... I began to wonder if I ever would be really attracted to and interested in anyone else. Everyone was just kinda blah in comparisson to what I had felt at the beginning with Holly. But that has changed. Miss J is amazing. I'm still not entirely sure where we stand "officially"... but who cares. She likes me, I like her, and we're takin' it day to day and really enjoying our time together. She's incredible... and now I may get to work with her on acting. She talked to Rick Poole and he said she needed a partner if she wanted to work with him and so she asked me... of course I said yes. So I hope that all works out. She's been gone for a couple days and it kinda surprised me how much I miss her! Not like a clingy, I need to always be around you, miss her... but just knowing she wasn't so close, you know, I miss her, haha. I went out last night and that's when I really missed her... I had a fine time, got to see Ashley, which was good... but when you hang out with someone so often you kinda get used to them being around, hehe. But, she's comin' back tonight, and I'll probably see her tomorrow... well, I'll definitely see her tomorrow (I'm not called to rehearsal, woohoo!) and maybe I'll see her tonight... I'll be hangin' with El so maybe we'll be at their place and I can see her when she gets in, haha. Ah... silly sappy me. I'm happy, for the first time in a while... like... all around happy. All I need is a job and I'll be golden, hehe :) That's all for now... Stay Positive and Love Your Life!!!

Day of class that is. I'm done with my first day of my last semester of classes!!! YAYAYAYAYAY!!! I've still got rehearsal at 7... but schoolwork is done for the day. I had my class on the effects of social and individual drug use/abuse and my Planetary Geology class today. Both are lecture classes... the drug class is twice the size of my science class. I've never had such huge lecture classes before, so this will be interesting. I'm super glad KTJ is in my Planetary Geology class... it'll keep me motivated to go ;) As for the drug class... it's only 50 minutes, it gets me up in the morning but not too early, and it's a topic I'm interested in... so I should be all good this semester! Plus I have to, otherwise I won't graduate, haha.

I also had a convo with Miss Johnson today regarding... "us" hehe. Nothing too new, but after her roomie coming home and thinking about things and talking, she feels confident in taking one step at a time and moving into things slowly but confidently, with no stress, and letting those close to us know that we do care about each other and that there is nothing negative or ill-intentioned about our relationship, whatever form it takes. And I'm super excited and hoping for nothing but the best. The girl is amazing... really incredible, and I really admire her maturity in handling everything... and I thank her for giving me a chance ;)

So I'm suuuuuuuuper happy, haha. This semester has started off wonderfully, can't wait for tomorrow when I actually have theater classes, haha. WOOT! Ok, that's all for now... til next time. Stay positive and love your life :)

1. Name: Andrew Jacob Dameron
2. Birthday: August 24, 1986
3. Where do you live: DeKalb, IL... for now
4. What are you studying/What are you working as: I'm studying theater!!!! YAY!!!
5. What makes you happy: Being with friends, performing, and listening to 311!
6. What are you listening to now/have listened to last: 311 - Nix Hex
7. What is particularly good/bad about my LJ: I like it cuz it's honest and usually quite funny :)
8. An interesting fact about you: Hmmm.... I don't like to have my nose touched! But only by hands... eskimo kisses and the like are perfectly acceptable ;)
9. Are you in love/have a crush at the moment: I have a monster crush!!
10. Favorite place to be: On stage
11. Favorite lyric: Stay positive and love your life
12. Best time of the year: the summer of love!!!
13. Weirdest food you like: Hmm... weirdest? I guess sushi, cuz there's some weird sushi types and I like pretty much all of it, hehe.

RECOMMEND
1. A film: Let the Right One In
2. A book: Lullaby by Chuck Palahniuk
3. A song: Use of Time by 311
4: A band: I'll go with the non obvious and say... Dir En Grey

PLUS
1. One thing you like about me: You are super-duper!!! Hehe... but one thing? Um... you are very passionate about your relationships, all types, and that's awesome.
2. Two things you like about yourself: Oi... um... I like my ability to get along with most anybody... and... I like that I am obsessed with 311, haha.
3. Put this in your lj so I can tell you what I think of you? Done ;)

Well... fuck....

So my dad finally saw my grades. Fuck, haha. I was prepared for this, so it's not too bad. And really... I got 3 A's, failed my gen ed, and I'm working on getting my Aesthetics stuff wiped off my transcript because I had credit for it from COD that my advisors just didn't catch. They wouldn't have caught it this time but I brought it to their attention. So I have that credit, which I need to graduate, but I'm trying to get the other grade wiped clean (I stopped going once I found out I already had credit). So, my dad is all pissed, saying I lied and that I have no respect for him or my mom. And I'm like... it's not too bad! I'll pay for my failures, hopefully it'll only be one, and I'm registered for everything I need to graduate! So long as I pass this semester, I'm done... and I will pass, because I have to, haha. Plus I won't have acting class to take up my life. I am in a show, which will take up time, but my part is small enough I won't have to be at every rehearsal, so that'll give me time. Everything will be fine, but my dad is super doomsday man and thinks that I'm pretty much worthless... which makes me feel awesome. I don't think my mom knows yet... I found my grades printed out on the table and she didn't say anything, so I flipped them over, haha. I'll deal with them both at once, that'll be better. There's a good chance I just go back to DeKalb tonight after talking to my dad, cuz there's no reason for me to be here and I just don't know if I'll be able to handle it. I can't wait to be done with school so that there is no more viewable gradation of my "success". I mean, fuck, at least I haven't failed out, or messed up so bad that I have to be in school longer. I am in as long as I would have been had I passed everything the first time. Really, everything since my first semester at NIU has counted with the exception of Aesthetics (which should have never been an issue) and this one gen ed class... everything else has been fine. So they can fuck off, seriously. They think I'm so horrible that they're gonna cut me off? They should thank me for not being more of a screw up. I mean, hell, I'm most likely going to graduate with a 3.0, maybe better, GPA... That's a B!!!! Above average!!! Dammit! But no, they won't be happy with me until I get my diploma... thanks for the confidence. One fuck up every now and then and the world is ending, give me a fucking break. I've been a veritable poster child of academic success and above average work... but since I'm not perfect and I fail one fucking class I'm a demon child that my parents are "beyond disappointed" in. No... fuck that... I'm not moving back home. I don't care how poor I am. I'll find a job this semester and work and work and work and not spend my money on anything except maybe once or twice a month. I'll get my work done, have some money to my name, and PEACE OUT!!!! I'll talk to Phil, maybe move in with him. I don't give a fuck if it will suck, it will be better than living at home with the constant "what are you doing with your life" talks. Fuck that... do they think that helps? Do they think that motivates me? No... it does this... makes me want to pack up and leave no matter how ready I am to do it. They are great, I would never have been able to get through college without their financial support... but jesus christ don't hang it over my head like I owe you something. Or that a failed class means that everything you've ever done for me has gone to waste and that I'm completely ungrateful. I can't wait for my life to start. No matter how poor or miserable I am, it'll be better than having to live up to their standards and their ideals every fucking day.

My day started kinda drab. Nothing specific, but I was just feeling down. Then I watched some football with my dad and felt a little better. Then I went out with the folks to look at furniture and I got a bunch of good pictures to use as concept photos for my Wonderland set :D So that wasn't so bad. Then we came back home to watch the Chargers game and I started feeling SUUUUUUUUPER down. I don't know what happened, but I was in outer space. My parents would say something to me and be all like "huh? what? oh... yeah..." it was very weird and I felt like I was on the verge of tears the whole time. Super lame. But then Hoops called and I went out with her and Colleen and had a great time. Never an uneventful night when Caliendo's is involved, haha. I'm glad I decided to go out... I briefly considered just staying in cuz I was mopey, but then I decided that was lame and I was going to be normal and hang out, haha. I wanted to see Colleen and Hoops, especially after the miscommunication about New Years. So yeah, had a great time... of course! Kelly showed up eventually, which was cool. Saw JOSH FOSTER!!! Haha, that was interesting... he hasn't changed much, hehe. And the cute DJ girl played 3 311 songs... so she was pretty kickass, hehe. Then I came home and watched the last part of the Sadam miniseries from HBO with my folks. Then I talked with my mom about the possibility of going to OTS for the Air Force after I graduate. My folks are really pushing me in that direction. I am seriously thinking about it. I think it could do a lot for me, but I also want to act. Like... I have to act and I don't want to spend another 4 or 5 years not doing that. Still thinking about it... I don't know. We'll see. The military is a big part of my family and I've always felt drawn to it, so who knows. Anyway, today was cool, minus the weird emotional shit that happened for whatever reason, haha. I'm a freak I guess. Time to call it a night though. Stay positive and love your life!!! :)

feelings, you know? I thought I had accepted my position... our situation. Even after *******, I knew what it was, and where we stood, and that was that. And it was... it really was... and I was fine with it. Sure, I wanted it to mean more but believe me, I knew it didn't, and I was fine with that! I am fine with that. What gets me is how I've stuck by her. She has become one of my best friends. We have inside jokes, I talk to her about EVERYTHING, we'll have hung out the past two nights and I'll still go over and spend the whole next day with her and not go home until 4am. She motivates me to be creative and to do work. She believes in me and I believe in her. I feel we have an excellent friendship... and that doesn't usually happen. Usually, I get a crush, and it either plays out and we date for a bit and part ways (with one obvious exception) or it doesn't and I don't really talk to that person anymore... you know? I lose interest because they aren't interested. She's not interested... I know that... she can tell me it's because of her best friend, but I'm not that naive. But I can't shake my feelings for her. I don't know, maybe that's good. I really care about her, and that's good, in a friendship, one should care about one's friends. Obviously I know the difference. Anyway, I don't know what I'm getting at. I'm confused. It's not that I don't know what to do... I'm not going to do anything. No reason to, we have an amazing friendship and I absolutely don't want to do anything to mess it up. Instead, I'm confused about "why". Why do I allow myself to have these feelings when I'm pretty positive nothing will come of it? I knew that ******** didn't mean anything, yet I still let myself believe that it might. It's torture... the only time I feel good is when I'm with her. Sure, there will be moments where I'm like "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" on the inside, but I deal, and I keep my happy face on, and eventually it passes and I don't even think about it. Seriously, when we get to talkin' forever, all my thoughts about "what if" and "if only" and "maybe" go away and we're just there talkin'. It's great! But when I'm not with her... anytime she pops into my head, for whatever reason, it always leads to me bein' all humdrum and hohum. Ah well... doesn't matter... just hadn't had a seriously blah moment in a while so I thought I'd spill. I actually feel better, so, that's what this is for right? Woo hoo... haha. Ok, that's all. Goodnight world, stay positive and love your life! :) *Love and Gratitude* ... haha, god I'm such a tool!

Happy 2009 everybody!!! Boy that crew knows how to throw a party! Two years in a row, very successful. I had a marvelous time... like... seriously. It was great to see everyone again, even though it's only been 3 weeks... feels like forever, me no likey! Only one complaint about last night and that is that the floor of that apartment was not crafted to have anyone sleep on it. WORST FLOOR EVER!!! I probably got... oh... and hour of sleep, maybe... 'course... that wasn't all due to the floor ;) Anyway, happy new year everyone, hope it is amazing for you all!!! :) PEACE!!

GOT ENGAGED!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!! I'm so excited for him... it's one of those, you know it's gonna happen soon and all that... BUT IT HAS OFFICIALLY HAPPENED!!!! YAY! Janet is AWESOME!!! AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!!!! :D :D :D :D

*deep breath* ... so, I'm pretty happy for him, and... that's all I gotta say now, hehe. YAY DEVHAN AND JANET CONGRATULATIONS!!!! :D

Well... after much deliberation and hesitation I finally watched Twilight. The story... fantastic... very touching and passionate and right up my alley. The vampires... which were the main source of my hesitation... not quite as disappointing as I had expected, however, not having any fangs is STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPID!!!! How can they be staring each other down in a fight, growling at each other, and have human teeth? It just looks dumb, I'm sorry, vampires have fangs, that's just the way it should be. Also, they glisten in the sunlight? C'mon... that's totally lame. I know that in Bram Stoker's Dracula... Dracula could walk around in daylight, but he became weak and couldn't use all of his abilities... he didn't glow like a fairy! So, that was dumb too, but not quite as distracting as I thought it might be, since it really only came up once and the focus was more on the relationship rather than the fact that Edward is a vampire.

Acting wise... I thought Robert was AWESOME! Some of the moments he had were just, great! Now, I don't know how the book has the character, but for the movie, he did a fine job and I'm excited to see more of him. Kristin as Bella? Eh... she could have been better. She had some good moments, but overall I thought she was pretty flat and in the hospital when she's telling Edward he can't leave her... that was pretty bad... of course, it could be the directing... which leads me to my next point.

I am so glad they are getting a new director for the next movies. This guy was all over the place. The first act was good. Even the second was OK, but some of the music choices and editing were pretty wonky. Third act FLEW BY!!!!! The conflict with the other vampires was like... nothing! Yeah, it got pretty streamlined and sparse at that point. It'll be good to see another director's approach to the story.

So, overall, not as dreadful as I had thought... but it could have been better. However, I'm a sucker for a love story, no matter how none vampy the vampires are, haha. Oh, the superpowers thing... I've heard complaints about that... that didn't bother me at all, vampires can totally have different abilities. They are immortal and have a lot of life experience... I think if humans could live that long we'd develop abilities like those as well. And vampires are always super fast and strong, so, no complaints there. Anyway... glad I watched it so I can intelligently converse about it now. I'll have to read the book now... but only the first, because I like watching the movie first, then reading the book, so I don't ruin the movie. It just works better that way, for me. Ok, there's my review, and I'd love to discuss with anyone willing :) G'night!

Only 3 more days til Christmas... la la la la la la!!!! I need to go ice skating downtown, like, yesterday! Actually it would have been waaaaaaaaaaaay too cold yesterday. Maybe when it warms up a bit. Anybody want to come with me? I hope so, cuz I'm not going by myself, haha!

Another thing I'm excited about... Karaoke tomorrow/today cuz it's 2:35am (actually, pretty early for me!). Hope we actually go... don't see any reason not to :) Maybe I'll do a Christmas song, just to hear everyone go "uuuuuuuuuuugggggghhhhhh" hahaha... I like singing :)

H'ok, just wanted to express my excitement! Hehe. Stay positive and love your life!!! :)

Watching True Blood is kick ass... watching it with someone else would be even better. Ah well...

So... you know how a few hours ago I posted about being depressed and wanting to work out? Well, I certainly feel better now! I'm kinda buzzy actually. No, I'm not drunk. No, I'm not high. No, I'm not under the influence of any outside substance. This is gonna sound super dorky, but I think I got a little high off of watching the first couple episodes of True Blood. Seriously, this show had me breathin' heavy a couple times... and it wasn't during the softcore porn sex scenes, haha! This show is HOT! Like... holy crap hot... to me at least. It's fantastic! The main vampire guy with Anna Paquin... the energy between the two... ugh, SEXY! Yeah, I got a little (and by a little, I mean ALL SORTS OF) hot and bothered watching this. My mom told me to watch it but said she couldn't watch it with me, since it's got some pretty graphic sex stuff in it. I will absolutely not watch this show with my folks... i would be suuuuuuuuuuper uncomfortable. I could give two shits about the sex scenes... I'd just be too weirded out by being totally turned on by all the vampy stuff, haha. I'm a freak, what can I say? Yeah... this show is the shit... I'd totally watch more right now if it weren't almost 6am. I'm going to try and fix my sleeping habits over break, haha... we'll see about that. I can tell ya already, it's probably not gonna happen, haha! Anyway... off to dream land, hopefully to dream about... well, you know ;)

Well... I watched Wanted tonight... it was awesome. Saw Hoops and Kelly and Jenna and new person Chrissa (sp?), which was fun. But for some reason I'm feeling really depressed tonight. I can't figure out why... just, after the movie, I'm just feeling down. I can't figure it out, but I can feel it in my body. I need to start working out... like... FOR REAL! I think if I were happier with my own body I would feel better. And this isn't an "I need to conform to be sexy blah blah blah" stupid stuff... no... this is for my career, and for my own self image. I want to be stronger, and fitter, and healthier. I don't feel healthy right now, and I think that's a big part of what has been bringing me down lately... among other things, of course, but I think working on my body image will make a big difference.

Haha, this is probably a pretty dumb post... but like I say... it's my journal, I'll journal about what I want, haha. And this all probably has come about watching a ton of good movies lately and TV shows and stuff. Even the "dorky" characters, are pretty cut up, so I need to work on that. Besides, my "type" isn't the dorky one. Kathryn has been very specific with me that my style and personality are suited to the leading man type role... sexy male lead type. And as flattering as that is, I'm not stupid, I know I have a lot of work to do before I am really there. I dream about being in an action series or movie... so obviously I need to be very physically fit for that.

For now, I can start with stretching and some little things everyday, just to get some type of routine going until I get back to school and can get into the gym. Plus, it's probably smart to get more flexible and get a little started with pushups and such before I start lifting, so I don't hurt myself, haha. Ok... enough about my upcoming workout routine, haha. Watch Wanted, it kicks ass... and I'm OUT! Stay positive and love your life!!!

Well... I thought I would be getting to sleep by now, however the movie I was watching decided to stop playing and tell me to wait for a half hour before I could finish the last, oh, twenty minutes of it. I've got about ten minutes left before I can finish it... I'm watching Burn After Reading. I like it! It got slammed review wise but I think that's just cuz it's not you're typical movie. You know, it's a Coen bros movie... it's a little wacky, but it's totally funny. I'm not a Clooney fan, but he's pretty damn good in this, I think. He's not just being George, like he so often is. And Brad Pitt... I just love that guy, haha. All the rest are good too... it's very interesting, I can't wait to see how it ends, haha!

I'm goin' home tomorrow... well, in about 7 hours, haha. Just gotta get a few hours of sleep, clean up the apartment, and then I'm outta here. It'll be nice to be home, especially once the fiasco that will be my explanation of two F's. One is totally my fault... well both are, but one I shouldn't have ever signed up for the class, let alone taken it again. Bullshit advising! Oh well... I'm graduating next semester and college will be OVER!!! And then I'll be a starving artist, haha. I'll probably live with the folks for the summer months to pay off debt and hopefully get a savings started, then I'll move to the city (either Chi-town or LA area) and really get into the acting! I'll be auditioning for everything I can in the meantime, but I won't be able to be fully out on my own for a little while. At least until I can pay my dad back for school... or get a good chunk taken care of and then just set up some sort of payment plan I suppose. Once I find a secure day job, I should be gravy, hehe.

Ok... I think my movie should be about ready. Peace folks!!!

Well I'm a bit under the weather again... but not as bad off as before. I think I'll make some tea and watch a movie. Or maybe some more Sarah Connor Chronicles, haha. MMMMM... I think movie sounds better right now. Blah, being sick sucks.

( This one got kinda long... but please read :) )

Wow... kinda railed on for a bit there didn't I? I guess I'll try to sleep... again. Ugh... this is terrible. Thanks to anyone who actually read this whole thing. Stay positive and love your life! ;)

So, I'm in bed, sick, today... that sucks. BUT... sleeping so off and on gave me a pretty kick ass dream. I think it was influenced by watching Heroes that night... but anyway... it was kick ASS!!! So at the start of the dream, (all involved were friends from NIU) we all had powers and were kinda fighting. I was like Hiro... I could travel through time and teleport anywhere... but I couldn't manipulate time, like stop it or anything, only teleport to a different time or place or both. And at the start of the dream I had to have my cell phone to do it... but then my ability grew and I could do it without that and I could take people with me. So pretty much... for what felt like days, I was jumping around the world in different times. I saw dinosaurs, I went to some, like, old country swedish family's house, haha. And everywhere in between. I also got to make out with someone... won't say who, but she is very attractive, haha. She seemed like she was into me! It was weird though, that it would be her and not someone else... but hey, it's a dream... and it was FUN!!!! God it would be so nice to have that power... someday... maybe not while I'm alive, but maybe so... people will have super powers like on Heroes. The government will make super soldiers and it will probably have horrible side effects, but it will happen, and then they'll fix the process and it will be available to very rich people that have some sort of tag so if they do something illegal they can be shut down, haha! Awesome... that's the world I want to live in... and I want to be one of the rich people. Ugh... too cool... maybe I'll go back to sleep and see if I can have some more of that dream. Making out was nice... haven't done that in a while... ha, ah well.